Everyone wants to be happy (or at least experience this feeling more often). What do you need to know and be able to do for this? Nothing complicated, really.
TIP # 1
TO EACH HIS OWN
It sometimes seems unfair, but there is no one sure way to be happy, you have to find your own. And the more we look at others (who, we think, are quite happy) and try to try on their lifestyle for ourselves, the less chances that something will work out. So what are you looking for, what makes you happy - your close environment, a suitable job, a hobby?
TIP # 2
LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION
Psychologists believe that we too often try to listen to the reasons of reason - and at the same time ignore the voice of feelings. And they, by the way, are no less important for making decisions! Making a rational choice, weighing all the pros and cons, choosing the “head” and rejecting the attempts of our intuition to reach us, we run the risk of finding ourselves in a prestigious but unloved job or, for example, next to a good, reliable, but completely alien person ... So, if the offer seems to look attractive, but something is protesting inside you, it is better to figure out what your intuition is screaming about.
TIP # 3
IN OWN HANDS
Who is responsible for your happiness - husband, children, mother, fortunate circumstances? Alas, no one (and nothing): happiness is only our inner work - and quite active! Of course, it is tempting to shift this responsibility, for example, onto the husband: let him be the way we want, love us, take care - that's it, happiness. Dangerous position: if suddenly something goes wrong (and according to statistics, now half of marriages fall apart), and your happiness was in your husband - what will you be left with?
TIP # 4
HAPPINESS IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF PROBLEMS
Life without problems and troubles would be wonderful, no one argues - only this is completely unrealistic. The question is, how do we relate to these problems: do we give up, panic, think that we can somehow cope? Yes, we cannot control everything that happens (although we really want to), but we can choose for ourselves how to react, and remember that there will still be problems. But this is not a reason to feel unhappy!
TIP # 5
MOVE IN SMALL STEPS
Human nature is such that we want everything at once - well, or at least set bigger goals. Of course, we cannot get all this at once, and we readily give up, believing that we will not see such happiness. But the path to happiness consists of small steps: if you cannot go on a round-the-world trip right now, then you can certainly go with the whole family by car to the nearest beautiful town. Or at least buy a map and a compass.
TIP # 6
FAILURE IS A REASON FOR GROWTH
The main difference between a pessimist and an optimist is this: a pessimist, faced with a failure or collapse of his plans, decides that this is a sad pattern, says that such is his fate and is no longer worth trying. The optimist will feel sad, draw conclusions - and try again, for example, in a slightly different way. Negative thoughts are always stronger, but who prevents us from seeing failure as a different path in the navigator?
TIP # 7
HAPPINESS LIVES IN THE MOMENTS OF LIFE
We are always in such a hurry (and do not have time), so we try to do more, that there is absolutely no time to just stop and look around. And there ... And the children's smiles, and the jokes of her husband, and the smell of apple pie - just from the oven, and, finally, the long-awaited sunny day - it's time for a walk in the forest. It's just the most ordinary life, but there are moments in it that you so want to remember.
TIP # 8
SHOULD I OR I WANT?
Yes, adult life is so arranged that we owe something to someone all the time - in family, friends, at work and ourselves - especially. “I have to lose weight, I have to earn money for vacation, I have to be a great mom. And I should be happy! " - all these (in general, very good) attitudes do not lead to achievements, but to feelings of guilt and shame. Because living in solid “must” means constantly conducting a mental dialogue with your Inner Critic - and, of course, constantly falling short of the ideal. The solution is to replace “should” with “would like”, and this greatly changes the quality of life: now you do not carry the burden of necessity, but you yourself choose what you need and what is important.
TIP # 9
TAKE CARE OF OTHERS
It's a fact that people who care about the well-being of others are less likely to be depressed and generally rate their lives better. And, by the way, their sincere desire to help and make the world a better place as a whole improves the life of society: the system wins where everyone helps everyone, and not everyone cares only about their own interests.
TIP # 10
VALUE RELATIONSHIP WITH FRIENDS
Family, loved ones, children - this is what gives us a feeling of happiness and support. But friends do no less! There are times when there are more downloads and less free time, and work, family and family responsibilities require our attention - and communication with friends becomes the very luxury that can be sacrificed. But in fact, it’s meeting with friends that gives us huge mental health benefits and helps keep stress levels in check, so it’s much more beneficial to sacrifice one night’s TV show in favor of coffee with friends.
TIP # 11
IN THE STREAM
Psychologists believe that if you are familiar with the state of flow - complete and active absorption in what we are doing, when nothing can distract us and we want to continue - this is a sign that you are happy. Although this experience is not always accompanied by pleasure, it is strong, noticeable and very inspiring, concentrating forces. And he says that you definitely do what you like.
TIP # 12
TIME FOR YOURSELF
Family, close relationships, mutual love, an interesting eventful life - of course, all this helps us to feel happy. But make sure that among all this there is your personal space: a place and time for what you do only for yourself. Maybe learning something new (or changing your profession altogether), going on a journey where it will be good for you and not just the rest of your family, go to the gym or see a psychotherapist - by the way, this is also a good investment in happiness!
TIP # 13
HOUSE IS OK
We spend 5-7 hours a day at home (and that's not counting sleep). This means that this is where you should be especially good and comfortable! And this is not only about cleanliness and order (although a clean house without unnecessary things certainly becomes more pleasant), but about how comfortable it is for you to be here? Are you happy with the things you've chosen? What do they say about the tastes and hobbies of their mistress, what is the atmosphere in your house?
TIP # 14
Why do children, absorbed in their activities, look so happy? At this moment they live in a fantasy world, there are no rules - except for those that they themselves have invented, there is only joy from the game. Let's do the same: allow ourselves to experience pleasure and excitement from completely useless and not "adult" affairs - but at least play snowballs!