A funny story about the end of the world) - written by some positive girl, thanks to whom he laughed heartily)
I missed everything again. It turns out that the exact time of the end of the world was announced. Olya and I talked on Skype and began to think what we would do if we announced that the world would end in exactly forty hours. One hundred meteorites fly to Earth, everyone looks at them through telescopes. There are no options at all. Definitely the end. Well, kissing mom is understandable. But you won't kiss her for forty hours. Five hours for kisses for everyone is a train of time. And then what to do? Thirty hours left. Get drunk? You will sober up. Sleeping seems to be stupid. Killing all your offenders is pointless, they will die so soon. Call a couple of goats and send them, express everything. Then call those whom she once offended herself and ask for forgiveness. Therefore, call that couple of goats and also apologize. Sleep with everyone? Well, as long as I can have sex, I'm already old. Go to work and do your usual business? What's the point? Or tell them all: “I never liked working here! I saw you in the coffin! " Eat all the cakes? Fried potatoes with beer for the night. And then the end of the world does not come, and you sit like a fat fool, without work, slept with everyone, tormented by a hangover and a terrible inconvenience. Therefore, I would probably have spent forty hours mediocre, that is, as usual.
Usually people think about what will happen next and what others will say. And completely in vain, of course. Actor Leonid Yarmolnik once said that when he was still a student, he was asked to become an understudy in a scene of the film. One actor in the script was supposed to run past the camera with a bare bottom, but he refused to do it, because he is not what the viewer thinks of him. Then they called Yarmolnik, who was suitable in build. The yarmolnik runs past the camera with his bare bottom, and that actor sits and looks contentedly. After filming, Yarmolnik approached him and said: “Well, what are you happy about? I ran, but they will still think that your ass is yours. "
This, of course, will definitely happen someday. Not the end of the world, but generally the end. And some people live as if forever. In the sense that it is borrowed. Pleasures and all good things are put off for later. Not the time now, not the time ... And when is the time? One of the signs of life on loan is when the console is wrapped in plastic. This is so that it does not deteriorate and lasts longer. How much longer? For life? Should it be beautiful and new for two hundred years? He's a remote control, plastic. I like to deploy and use everything at once, because the devil knows what will happen to me tomorrow.
Or, it happens, you eat a sandwich. And you gobble up first from those edges where there are less caviar. In order to finally leave the most appetizing piece, where it tastes better, where the fillings are fatter. This is how you eat your sandwich. You lick the crumbs from your lips, chew this caviar, burst in your mouth, get to the juicy one. There were a couple of bites left - that's all. The sandwich falls or someone asks for a bite. In short, you must immediately eat from a thick edge.
Once I saw the end of the world in the eyes of an actress. We filmed a touching love scene, the heroine of the film had to fall in love with passion. The director tells her, “Please close your eyes now and I'll turn on the camera. Do not think that there is a tape and someone is here. You are alone. When you open them, I want to see the look that you had after the last amazing sex. Remember when you had that kind of sex and look at me like that. I want to see this sparkle and light in my eyes ”. And then the actress, instead of closing her eyes, involuntarily throws them up and you can see that she is trying to remember, she seems to remember something like that, but nothing comes to mind right away. And no light in the eyes, everything is the end.
Aunt Natasha, my mother's best friend, recently experienced the most correct end of the world. She climbed a high ladder to paint the walls. She poured a voluminous bowl of paint, took a brush and began to paint. She painted this way and that, and then she reached to the far corner, stumbled, the ladder swayed, and Aunt Natasha began to balance in the air. She swayed, waved her arms in the air, clung to life. I tried to establish balance, bustlingly shifted my center of gravity here and there, the step-ladder was shaking, the basin began to splash. And it seems that there is this chance to stay on top, but then Aunt Natasha thought: "Come on, still fall." And she fell. This, in my opinion, is the most correct decision in life. Falling anyway, why swing? So I thought about it last night and ate some fried potatoes. With beer. Once such messages have gone, then we must prepare for the end, meet it in full nishtyak and bliss. And if the end of the world does not happen, then at least it was tasty for me yesterday. And in general, when I was in Mexico a couple of years ago, we went to the Mayan tribe. I say to them: “Why did you do this to everyone? We drew a calendar until 2012, everyone is now worried. Who does that? " And the Maya say to me: "Don't worry, we'll draw some more." And we sat down to drink tea from the bark.
And this is what the end really looks like, the end of the world