100 Tips of All Time for Men - an interesting collection of practical tips for men that will make your life easier, well, at least help you not to create new problems.
Top 100 Tips for Men:
1. Do not retire with a woman in a hotel room if sex is not at all part of your plans.
2. If you don't have a ruler at hand, use the tools at hand as measuring instruments:
- diskette - 9 x 9 cm;
-video cassette - 18.5 x 10 cm;
-your penis - you know.
3. Since we each managed to outpace 100 million other sperm, we have been driven by a competitive spirit. It is better to stop denying the importance of this motive once and for all and start using it.
4. Forty-five percent of those who died violent deaths knew their killers. Moral: the fewer people you know, the fewer people who want to send you to the next world.
5. Lost in the woods? Descend into the lowlands until you come across a river or stream. Go downstream until you come out to Moscow or Khabarovsk.
6. The belt should be five centimeters wider than the waist and fasten on the third hole. And be in the same color scheme as the shoes.
7. The more muscles you have, the more calories you burn naturally. Regardless of whether you are sitting or running, working or sleeping. This is because muscle tissue is 17-25 times more active in metabolism than fat.
8. Only talk about what you really know. If you don't know, sit back and keep quiet.
9. A successful marriage is one in which you never feel like you compromise.
10. The slower you do the strength exercise, the more muscle fibers are involved in the process, the larger they will be.
11. When you look at the penis from top to bottom, it seems smaller.
12. Learn to take pleasure in doing pleasing to others. Explore female sexuality.
13. Muscles that make the same movement for a long time gradually adapt to use fewer fibers for this. In order to avoid idle loads, change exercises for a particular muscle group more often.
14. Never pay for a job before it's finished.
15. Fearing criticism from their wives, many men cease to amuse their children with somersaults, violent games with furniture and fussing on the floor. Such men very quickly turn into lethargic and boring dads.
16. Don't try to get approval by hook or by crook. More respect is given to those who do not care about other people's opinions.
17. Do not wait and see the symptoms of heart failure - pain, tightness and heaviness in the chest. Urgently to the doctor.
18. Pouring beer into the middle of the glass produces more bubbles, odor and taste. However, there is also a lot of foam, so first you need to pour beer along the wall of the mug. Then direct the jet in the middle. The head will be small but thick.
19. Don't tell long jokes. Especially implicated in wordplay.
20. Trousers should be of such length that socks do not protrude when walking.
21. Keep the family idyll:
-turn away from the TV;
-listen to what she says;
-repeat the last phrase;
- tell me that there is a grain of reason in this;
-Turn to the TV.
22. Don't be the first to interview. The last candidate gets the job 56% of the time. The worst day of the week for an interview is Monday, the worst time is the end of the day.
23. Rinsing and squeezing a piece of meat can remove up to 50% of the fat from it.
24. The longer you ignore something - a knocking engine, a crack in the ceiling, or a friend's worried expression - the more you will have to pay for it in the end. For a while, everything will go well, but it will all end with an overhaul of the engine, a collapsed ceiling and a collapsed relationship.
25. Be wary of the guy who bent his knees and holds his arms along his torso. Most likely, with the next movement, he will try to break your jaw. Look into his eyes. Aggressive intentions are calculated by the characteristic tension of the gaze.
26. Reader's opinion: "When I wanted to somehow cover my growing bald spot, I bought an electric shaver and shaved everything off. No hair - no problem. Freedom. I don't like my bald head. I'm proud of it."
27. Tell your friend that you have a headache and that, according to the latest research, massage of the testicles helps. Needless to say, the experiments were carried out on rats.
28. The ingredient that makes tomatoes red - lycopene - can not only prevent prostate cancer, but also treat it.
29. Women really love flexible men more than stubborn ones. but only if complaisance does not go to the detriment of the ability to dominate. Weak and weak-willed women are absolutely not quoted. Do not be afraid to disappoint your friend by expressing your strong opinion at the time of choosing a restaurant, housing or the number of children.
30. Do you want to become a father? Make children at dawn. Male fertility peaks in the early morning.
31. If you want to win the audience's attention, do not make more than three pillars in your speech. This is the maximum number of thoughts that listeners can perceive. 32. According to research by scientists, serious competition of any kind increases testosterone levels in the body. Prolonged increases in testosterone levels develop the will to win. Victory triggers a spike in testosterone levels. Which stimulates mental activity and increases the speed of reaction. Such is the entertaining physiology.
33. Never tell a person that he looks bad or sad.
34. Be able to save your life by the Helmlich method. If you gagged, clench your fingers into a fist and rest the knuckle of your thumb under your belly. Grasp your fist with your other hand and poke it several times in the direction inward and upward. If it does not help, lean in the same place on the back of a chair or the corner of the table and make several jerks, trying to force the air from the lungs to push the stuck piece out.
35. In order not to miss a single vitamin from muesli with milk, finish off the white gruel at the bottom of the plate.
36. A man in socks and underpants is the worst kind of man. If there is someone else in the room, take off your socks before you take off your pants.
37. Rule # 1: Don't panic! Rule N2: Don`t panic! Rule N3: See rules 1 and 2.
38. Women like men who listen to them with interest. And they listen. And they listen. AND...
39. Confuse the enemy with a glance:
-do not blink;
-lean a little forward;
-repeat to yourself: "This bereft is encroaching on my property";
-translate your excitement into aggression. Are angry with themselves for daring to be nervous;
-understand that you can tear it, even if it is not entirely obvious.
40. To quickly bring a woman to orgasm, use the following technique. Instead of leaning on your arms or hugging your partner, lie on her chest. Pause your frictions and start stimulating her clitoris by rubbing her pubis. Just move up and down, keeping full contact. Rocking movements should be slow and sad. You may not be able to do it right away, but you will like the effect. And not only you.
41. Men are obsessed with the development of all kinds of muscles - biceps, abs, deltoids, etc. the most important muscle is often left without our attention. The heart is as much a muscle as the others. You can make him strong and enduring, or you can leave him sluggish and weak. Choose yourself.
42. A healthy person in every sense of the word should know many ways to enjoy life.
43. If you (God forbid) have an operation on a paired organ, do not be too lazy to get a felt-tip pen and mark them in the right place. The potential for medical error is negligible, but it exists. And so you will control the process, even while under anesthesia.
44. If you are overwhelmed by rage, take the urge to write an angry letter or tell who needs a couple of affectionate ones on the phone. Put your thoughts on a piece of paper and let her lie down in the table. You will probably want to edit it later.
45. Does your head hurt? Put a couple of tennis balls in a sock, tie it, lie on the floor and place the socks with the balls under the place where the head grows into the neck.
46. Going to bed in a playful mood, you make a gift to yourself and to the one who will be next to you. For adults, sex is almost the only way to play. It is foolish to miss this opportunity.
47. Serve to old people on the street. No comment.
48. Rudeness and arrogance are often a mask behind which self-doubt is hidden. Moreover, it hides badly, women easily recognize insecure men. They don't go crazy over them. The bosses can entrust the work to an insecure person, but they will not trust him. Only self-confidence conquers both women's hearts and the top of the ratings.
49. If you want to build up your shoulder girdle, there is no better exercise than pulling up. Grab the bar with a straight grip, hands shoulder-width apart. Pull up slowly until your chin is level with the bar. Get down and repeat the movement as long as you have enough strength. Do three sets three times a week.
50. If your child calls his mother "mother", this is not a reason for you to start calling her the same. Women hate it.
51. Do not wear trousers with a zipper on your naked body - you can pinch something important.
52. If your lower back hurts, stop carrying your wallet in your back pocket. A tight wallet presses on the sciatic nerve when you sit, and it is he who is responsible for the entire "lower floor".
53. Eat one banana every day. Potassium prevents the deposition of cholesterol on the walls of blood vessels.
54. Many men complain of boredom in stable sexual relationships. At the same time, most of them forget that in order to receive a lot, one must also give a lot. Ask yourself if you go to bed in the mood to improvise, be playful, original and thirsty.
55. "You are kind of beautiful ... you are probably a model ..." - this is not a compliment. Praise not the nature that created it, but what she herself achieved: "you have a kick-ass sense of humor", "great taste", "intriguing hairstyle."
56. If you have a heart attack, proceed as follows:
Cough violently. If the heart rhythm is disturbed, a harsh cough may be enough to restore it.
Call an ambulance. Don't try to get to the hospital yourself.
Take aspirin. Chew the pill so that the medicine is absorbed faster and gets into the bloodstream.
Be persistent in talking to your doctor, your life may be in jeopardy.
57. You can eat right, exercise regularly - all this will be useless if you do not get enough sleep. Sleep at least 8 hours. If you train actively - at least 9.
58. Pets can also be involved in training. Try step aerobics with a cat. Step 1: step on the cat. Step 2: get off the cat. Step 3: step on the cat. Step 4: get off the cat. Repeat this movement for 45 minutes. or until you have enough strength. Two cats can be used to increase the load.
59. There is only one dating phrase that works: "Hello." Introduce yourself, ask her about her, after which - and this is the most important thing - shut up and listen.
60. Each of us has a perfectly pumped up abs - it's just that many have it somewhat hidden under a layer of fat. You can get rid of it with regular aerobic exercise. And you need to pump up the press, concentrating not only on the cubes themselves, but also on the upper abdominal muscles and lower back.
61. Top 10 Cancer Prevention Foods: Broccoli, Tomatoes, Spinach, Oranges, Garlic, Apples, Soybeans, Carrots, Green Tea, Red Wine.
62. Don't confuse success with luck. Your own or someone else's. The first is a natural result of efforts, the second is an accident.
63. Regular sex improves immunity.
64. Female interpretation of the term "15-minute prelude" (for information): First 3 minutes. Kiss me like I'm the only one in the whole world. Turn off the TV and stop chewing. 4-6 minutes. Kiss me again. Now you can start touching me. Not like that. Like this. Gently, as if this is a completely new sensation for you. Let me touch you too. 7-12 minutes. Very slowly start undressing me. Take off your clothes yourself. I'll help you in the end. 13-15 minutes. Now you can connect your mouth. Bite, suck, fumble ... In sensitive places a little more tender, in the rest a little bolder.
65. The closer to morning, the better you look. In other words, the less time is left before the bar closes, the more generous women value men. As well as vice versa. It's not just a matter of growing drunkenness. The fewer men in sight, the more valuable each one is.
66. While waiting for a turn from the left lane, keep the wheels straight. If some idiot accidentally flies into you from behind, at least you will not be carried out into the oncoming lane.
67. Be politically correct when discussing anything in the men's room. You never know who will come out of the next booth.
68. By eating two apples daily, you are likely to lose 5 kg in a year.
69. Do not check the contents of the handkerchief after blowing your nose. At least in public. From the outside it looks terrible.
70. Don't sleep with someone you might have to fire, or someone who might one day fire you.
71. There are three tie knots that every man should be able to tie: classic, bow tie and pioneer.
72. Gynecologists found that women who had frequent oral sex had a 50% reduction in the risk of preolampsia, a complication of pregnancy. Nothing strange - it's all about the specific composition of the sperm that enters the female body.
73. To avoid a morning hangover, you must drink mineral water in the evening (the more, the better), and when you wake up, eat a couple of tablespoons of honey with strong coffee.
74. Any repair is, by definition, a man's job.
75. A lot of people died because after the accident they sort things out, standing between two damaged cars. It is better to move the discussions to the sidelines - a third and a fourth can quickly be added to the two rumpled cars on the track.
76. Read carefully everything under which you put your signature. They will print a lot of good things in big letters. Everything unpleasant is described sparingly and in small print.
77. When faced with a serious medical problem, consult at least three independent professionals.
78. Ask for a raise if you feel you deserve it. Write down on a piece of paper all your achievements that deserve to be rewarded. Take this sheet when you go to your boss.
79. Be brave. Or seem so - from the outside, one is indistinguishable from the other.
80. Always keep before your eyes something beautiful, even a crumpled chamomile in a faceted glass.
81. Never leave behind a raised toilet seat and hair in the bathroom.
82. Don't buy cheap tools. A good expensive set will serve you all your life and will pass to your descendants.
83. Don't leave funny greetings on your answering machine.
84. Smooth and firm gait speaks of your balanced character and self-confidence.
85. Park in the back lane and away from the entrance. The chances of getting scratched are reduced by 50%, and you will have a chance to walk.
86. Any, even the most sensitive clothing can be safely rinsed in cold water.
87. When you are praised, all you have to do is just say thank you. and more, no less.
88. Think twice before burdening someone with your secret.
89. Daytime is best for blind dates. If things don't go well, it will be easier to leave.
90. Never leave your keys in the ignition and lock your car, even if you park it in the yard of your own summer cottage.
91. Don't go grocery shopping when you are hungry. You will definitely buy too much.
92. Always keep a blanket, a torch and a set of spare batteries in the car.
93. When traveling, fill the tank when the fuel level drops to 1/4.
94. Do not use a toothpick in public. Or at least do it not very demonstratively.
95. Don't trust people who ask you to be honest with them. As well as those who persistently convince you of their own honesty.
96. When someone tells something important to him, do not try to insert your "similar case". Let the person be at the center of the conversation.
97. Don't complain about the lack of time. Your day has the same number of hours as Einstein, Gates and Soros.
98. Do not go on a visit until you are reconciled.
99. Explaining the break with a woman, try to limit yourself to the remark "It was I who was to blame for everything."
100. Be more reckless and courageous. As you look back at life, you will regret more what you did not do than what you did.