We have all experienced moments that we wish we could forget.
As we get older, we continue to ruminate negatively on the past and become angry. This can affect our body and mind and even kill us.
Scientists hypothesize that this tendency to persistently recall negative memories could be an evolutionary defense mechanism. From an evolutionary perspective, it is critical to remember highly stressful situations to avoid them in the future. However, it can also lead to psychological obstacles such as depression and anxiety.
How can we move beyond negative memories? Is it possible to change what we remember?
Luckily, the answer is that we can adapt our memories, and these changes are long-lasting.
At Columbia University in the US, nearly 300 participants were given memory tasks in which they recalled positive aspects of a negative memory, either written or verbally, over periods of 24 hours, one week and two months.
The researchers observed that they were able to shift the focus of negative experiences to more positive ones. This led to beneficial changes in how these events were remembered.
When asked what inspired her study, researcher Megan Speer said her sad memories of her father dying of a stroke changed when she started to focus on the silver lining.
“I was happy that he didn’t have to continue to suffer for a long period of time after suffering the stroke and that he was finally in a better place,” she said.
“Over time, I noticed this new insight coming to me when I revisited this memory. This made me realize that it is possible that this positive reframing actually reshapes our memory in a beneficial way.
Dr. Speer’s study confirmed that finding positive meaning in negative memories from the past has a lasting impact.
We can change what we remember by allowing us to remember more positive aspects of an experience.
A real-world example of this might involve reflecting on a past breakup with a romantic partner, evoking negative emotions.
One way to find positive meaning is to focus on the positive aspects or look for new insights into the event.
You may realize that the breakup has inspired you to reevaluate the traits and characteristics you want in a romantic partner. This intuition may have pushed you to look for someone who was better suited to you.
When you remember the breakup in the future, you may now also remember the new positive insight you gained, making the thought less distressing.
Researchers say the ability to find new meaning improves positive emotions, reduces symptoms of depression, and faster recovery from stress, all of which help build resilience to future adversity.
Positive emotions can also broaden our cognitive perspective, which can lead to better decision making, greater creativity, and adaptive coping.
